And it is beautiful. I have a lot to write, but I don’t want to bore you guys. I feel as though my life is so boring and I don’t know who’d wanna keep up with it. But thanks for wanting to.
I’m going to start by saying it wasn’t always like this. In elementary I was the loser nobody who was so much of a teachers pet I barley remember having any friends. In 7th grade I was the stuck up bitch who thought I was the best. I’m happy I was. Don’t get me wrong, it’s horrible to be a stuck up bitch, and it’s annoying. But being that bitch taught me a lot. It changed my thoughts on things and helped me realize my self worth. But, what truly helped me, was the summer after 7th grade. This is a time when I not only saw what people where saying about me and wanted people to actually think I was a nice person, it was a time when I found Naomi and figured out being perfect was the last thing on my agenda. Major people began coming in & then exiting my life. So, It was also when I realized you can never get too attached to anyone. But fuck, I did just that.
I guess I am trying to say Paul is an exception, but that isn’t how it works. It just a fact. There are NO exceptions to this rule. But I can’ t go back now.
Sometimes I am mad at myself, for letting him into my life. But I had no clue he would be the guy I’d be in love with or the guy I’d hate so god damn much. No clue. It really is sad that he’s consumed me so much yet I barley even know him. Really. I don’t. I don’t know his mom’s name or his favorite movie or even if he has a job. So yes, it is very very very crazy that I am in love with this man. Although, I do know what he thinks of at 2 am, and what he pictures of doing with his life. And I do know I want his thoughts to be a part of mine.
Anonymously alone 