Wine

Tonight I downed three glasses of wine. The second glass went down my throat and left a burning sensation. 

It was kind of how I feel when I cry over you. 

I long for your touch so much it makes my eyes burn from the crying and my throat aches from the sobs and when you tell me one day we’ll be together I remind myself i can only believe in so much. 

I was never good at believing things when I was 5 stopped believing the tooth fairy and when I was 8 my mother never denied me when I said Santa wasn’t real and now I’m 15 and it’s kind of how I feel with you and I feel bad but If this is going to end with me being alone and you feeling bad for me I can only imagine it also ending with my head pounding and my heart erasing. 

I want to believe you. I just keep thinking maybe I’m not in love with you or anyone and maybe I never will be 

The third glass of wine felt just like you. Cold and it made me drowsy but it was so fucking good and I’ll always want more.