I am beginning to feel withdrawn from every single human I’ve ever met.
Including myself.
I never give myself time to think or even react anymore. I’ve been hanging out with guys at least 8 years older than me and at first I felt no shame but then that made me feel guilty and the guilt takes me over sometimes times like now when she is sleeping and I have no one to go to for comfort except this blog which I’ve built my thoughts upon and right now I only hear three things: a bird chirping, the fan, and her phone going off numerous times which I know is from the dating site we’ve chosen to go on “for our own good” because we completely fucking adore older men but sometimes I feel it’s only for his own good.
I also hear a clock that won’t stop ticking why won’t it stop fucking ticking? It’s so sudden and loud kind of like my heartbeat sometimes I forget I have a heart pumping blood throughout my body because I feel so empty and I feel bad that Paul told me he wouldn’t talk to anyone else but I’m right here meeting guys who say they like me so much and I’m beautiful but remember when Paul used to say that to me?
I feel this unknown feeling but I think the world only lets me feel so much and most of the time I feel nothing
Anonymously alone 